The Scoreboard That Actually Matters

"We fail the minute we let someone else define success for us." — Brené Brown

We’re closing out Q2, which means one thing: it’s time to get intentional. I just picked up my own Dead Three Performance Planner off Amazon—yes, I buy my own stuff—and it’s filled with gratitude, reflection, and momentum from Q1 and Q2. Now we’re stepping into Q3, and I want to challenge you: Are you ready to define your own scoreboard?

Because here’s the thing—most people aren’t playing their own game. They’re stuck chasing someone else’s version of success. Promotions, parking spots, follower counts, salary bands… those things aren’t evil, but they’re dangerous when they become your default scoreboard. I've seen it in coaching, consulting, business, sports—you name it. You’ll grind hard, and even when you “win,” you feel like you’ve lost. That’s what happens when success isn’t yours to begin with.

Let me tell you a story. Back when I was a college basketball coach, we used to play what were called guarantee games—Division I teams would pay us to come lose. We knew the outcome. But even in those losses, we walked away feeling like winners. Why? Because we defined success on our terms. We had metrics that mattered to us. Mindset. Growth. Toughness. Progress. And I’ve carried that lesson with me ever since. The truth is, if you’re feeling exhausted, unmotivated, or off-track—it might not be because you’re failing. It might be because you’re chasing a scoreboard that was handed to you instead of created by you.

Three Questions You Need to Sit With

1. If no one else could see your life—what would success look like to you?
   Strip away the noise. No likes, no followers, no status updates. Just you—living your day, doing your thing. What would make you proud?

2. What version of success are you chasing that doesn’t feel like it’s yours?
   Be real. Did you create this dream, or did someone else hand it to you with expectations and a deadline?

3. Where are you still seeking validation instead of alignment?
   You know the answer. That one thing you keep doing—not because it lights you up, but because someone might notice.

Three Actions to Take This Week

✅ Define It.
Write your definition of success in one honest, powerful sentence. Use ChatGPT if you need help clarifying. It should feel like a deep breath, not a sales pitch.

✅ Audit It.
Pull up your calendar and to-do list. How much of your time serves someone else’s dream? What can you remove, realign, or reshape?

✅ Protect It.
Say no to one thing that looks shiny but feels off. That “no” is a “yes” to your dream. To your vision. To the game you were meant to play.